How to Identify Toxic Positivity?


Denial is the mother of depression. Know when you're denying the problems to escape them. Do not fall prey to toxic positivity.
Happy woman

The entire concept of Toxic Positivity arises from this common misconception that we must be optimistic at all times. And though there’s nothing wrong with it, in reality, it is not possible to ALWAYS BE OPTIMISTIC. So, the next time you meet someone who says, “Oh! I couldn’t be happier,” and aren’t convinced, it’s probably because their body language says otherwise.

You must have heard many motivational speakers & influencers across social media telling you to not seek ‘closure’ from dashed relationships. Yes, in the short term, this approach generally delivers the desired results. So, after a broken romantic relationship, you may create your dating profile and look for the other ‘fish in the sea’.

But in the long run, you feel unhappy even while being in an apparently happy relationship. That is because you have not given yourself the time to process the negative feelings of separation or perhaps, resentment. You must have heard of the phrase that pain demands to be felt. So feel all those negative emotions, while knowing that you will come out of this phase stronger and wiser. Do not fight these feelings. And when you feel overwhelmed, just remember: you did what you could to work things out and that is all that matters.

That being said, here are the two signs displayed by people with toxic positivity:

  • They Always Seek company

All of us have get-togethers with friends/work colleagues every now and then. But if that one chirpy friend of yours asks you to meet up almost every weekend, it is a red flag. 

But this does not mean that you stop being a part of their plans. Only that you politely draw boundaries with them. Tell them how you like to spend some time by yourself every weekend. Maybe even explain to them how it helps you unwind and re-energize yourself.

People appreciate well-intended honesty. By doing this, you may even inspire them to be self-reliant emotionally and not seek external distractions to ‘shun the loud voices in their heads’.

  • Their Presence Brings Down Your Energy 

The appearance of certain individuals convinces you that they’re content in their lives. But absurdly, when you talk to them, every statement has undertones of resentment. They’d say something like “You have just got to do certain things” or “Enjoy this phase of your life while it lasts, mate.”

Now, for the sake of your mental health, you must distance yourself from such fellas. At the same time, ensure that you do not emotionally hurt them in the process.

So, if you know of someone who showcases these two signs, it is time that you reconsider spending time with that person. Also, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1).

Credits: TEDx Talks

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